6 Steps to Gain Interest In Love
“A Penny Saved, Is A Penny Earned”
Fill Up Your Jar With Love
We have been collecting spare change in our house for over a year now, and just yesterday, I dumped it all together and brought our bucket with me to the grocery store.
As I poured it into the machine and listened to the cha-ching and baddha bing, I thought about how collecting small coins each day really adds up over time. It doesn’t seem like much until you add it all together. After one year of saving, we had collected $187.03. It was enough to pay for the groceries that day, and I even had money left over.
In the same way that we save money, we can also save up positive thoughts about our experiences we have each day. Sometimes, in the moment positive experiences might not seem like a big deal, but overtime, when we continue to keep track of all of the good things that are happening, we will experience an overall feeling of love and happiness.
I know from personal experience, it is so easy to get stuck in negative thoughts and to ruminate about the past. And, I know that when I take time to focus on all of the good, I feel better about life and more content in my relationships with others. For me, I get a much higher return on my investments when I save up, keep track of and count all of the things, experiences and people, I love.
According to New York Times best selling author Rick Hanson, Ph.D., in order to experience happiness we need five positive thoughts for every one negative one. He describes the brain as having “experience-dependent neuroplasticity,” whatever you hold in attention has a special power to change your brain.
We can learn to focus our awareness on Love and pay attention to what is good in our life and in return, feel happier, more content and simply, love the life we are living.
Here’s a practice that we can do each night to soak in the love. Give it a try if you would like to fill up your love jar.
1. Count Your Change and Reflect back on your day from a witness perspective.
Thoughts accumulate in our mind just like change in our pockets. If we keep letting them accumulate without paying attention to what's there, we can start to feel heavy or disturbed. We can add value to our life by paying attention to what is present and...perhaps, put something in the money jar.
Applying a witness perspective to our experiences allows us to see our ourselves clearly without taking away the value of our experiece.
Think about your day and remember what you did:
i.e. I made breakfast, I let the dog out, the kids woke up, we snuggled on the couch...etc. Try not to get stuck in any one experience. Just watch your thoughts like you would watch a movie.
2. Organize your day into percentages.
What part of the day did you enjoy? What part was hard? Was anything neutral? For example, “90% of my day was good but 10% was bad. Often, we replay the 10% and give little attention to the 90%. (Remember: When we criticize, attack or ruminate about the negative, we deplete money from our energy/bank account. Instead, notice what is there without criticizing it.)
3. Re-Count the Positive
Somitimes, we deposit only the negative, instead of depositing the positive. Replay all that was good, again, and give 90% of your awareness to the 90%. And remember, the 10% that didn't feel so good, is probably a learning opportunity in disguise.
4. Forgive: Let go of any thought that does not add value to your life.
When we release any judgments, criticism or expectations about others, or ourselves we can open up to a deeper sense of love and connection.
5. Focus and SAVE all that was good during the day…even the little things. When you focus on the positive it gets stored up in the brain and it turns into a long term memory of love and happiness.
Continue to replay and count all of the positive things that happened especially little spare change.
6. Soak in the LOVE
Ruminate on love, soak in goodness and enjoy a return on your investment.