Dirty Big Secret
Many moms (and dad’s) in the world are stressed. They are facing mild to major challenges with little or no relief in site.
Those conscious people who invited conception are often left unprepared when their precious newborn arrives. Unexpected challenges, such as colic,, illness, or a spectrum diagnosis adds tremendous uncertainty to first time parents and can leave seasoned parents with anxiety. With little time or resources to nourish the self, even the most loving and conscious of parents can turn to negative coping mechanisms.
I’ve experienced myself and often heard moms say in the most bewildered tones, “I can’t believe I started smoking again” or “Gosh, I know I shouldn’t be drinking this much but the stress just gets to me.”
If you are reading this and can’t relate, you may be surprised or even shocked that some Spiritually oriented parents who appear to be the most balanced are carrying around big secrets. Deficient 2nd chakras, (chakras are energy centers located in our body that correspond with our endocrine system, the second chakra governs sexuality, finances, and addictions) can look like this in the extreme: over or under eating, binge spending sprees, overspending, alcohol abuse, tobacco or recreational drug use.
Add to that any one of the other common stressors such as a spouse that works crazy hours or single parenting – and suddenly a relatively strong and resourceful parent can be catapulted into the land of extremes.
Many of the times these well hidden secrets won’t make it to a therapists office or a 12 step program. After all, it’s just temporary and by the way who has the emotional/mental and physical resources to truly deal with themselves while caring for a young child or children 24/7?
I am not an advocate of going a tough road alone, however the accompanying shame and embarrassment of suffering under a 2nd chakra dysfunction often leaves people feeling like they don’t want to open up to their group of parenting friends.
What can a parent do?
1. Soft Kindness
Be gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up generally does not lead to lasting positive change, it simply vaults a person back into the cycle of escapism.
Aim for transparency with YOURSELF. When you can look at yourself in the mirror honestly and say “I am doing my best”, you are making room for your best self to show up.
A classic hypnotherapy technique is replacement. Whatever you seek to change or eliminate needs a new identification. If it’s your nightly glass of wine that takes 10 minutes to drink, commit to breathing for 10 minutes instead.
4. Communicate Honestly.
With a journal, your spouse, or an accountability buddy, set a goal for yourself to slowly transform your coping mechanism into a chosen replacement. It may be a yoga, meditation, or writing practice, exercise routine, ect.
If you have not been able to consistently stay on a new path that is health focused and heart centered for a minimum of two weeks, give yourself permission, judgement free, to contact a professional for help.
We are all on unique journeys. Often the parenting and healing journey are intertwined. As conscious parents we made a vow long before our children arrived to show up and do our best. Our children made the same vow. So now, with these precious beings before us, let’s decree together to do our work and love ourselves and one another through the process.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tai is a Mom to two, a healer and change facilitator. She is a certified hypnotherapist with specialities in Smoking Cessation, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Sports, and ADD. She is a Master Usui and Kundalini Reiki Teacher, A Certified Kids Yoga Teacher and she is Certified to teach Level II Pranayam Breath Techniques.
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